I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
