so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
