I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
