do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
