They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
