I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
