Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize