I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
