So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
