I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
