PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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