:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
In America we eat man semen.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize