i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
