physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
