That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
