so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
