I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I am mentally ready for anal.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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