So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i believe in u and ur pee
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