69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
