I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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