Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
