I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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