maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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