Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
