I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
