I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
