After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
