last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
