There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
