no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Is Oprah even human
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
