Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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