halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
