So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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