i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
