with your own penis?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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