Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize