i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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