so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
