And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
