I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
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