She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I want her autograph on my taint
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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