She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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