i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
