Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It's just like the Real World with babies
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My vagina is very pro this idea
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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