I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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