i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
