it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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