so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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