You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
