We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
