he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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