he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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