You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
