I molested 6 butterflies tonight
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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