You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
