We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Randomize
