Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
