Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
